Twas the Night Before Christmas FFX Style!
by TalkingMime
Summary: A parody of that wellknown poem. Auron makes a couple visits on Christmas night.


'Twas the Night before Christmas… FFX Style!

TalkingMime09

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters. 

A parody of _'Twas the Night Before Christmas_. 

~~~~~

'Twas the night before Christmas in the Zanarkand streets

Where pyreflies drifted amongst dreams incomplete. 

Tidus's address was the fourth house on Pine, 

Where the fayth preferred to haunt, always just as divine.  

The night was filled with action, and lights as bright as Broadway,

For tonight was Christmas Eve, a very special day.

Everywhere there were parties, voices of Blitzball fans roared,

For miles there was laughter; no one tonight was bored.

For Zanarkand was the city that never slept. 

The lights did not go out; it wasn't morning yet.

But in the house that was the fourth one on Pine

The lights were turned off, and of joy there was no sign.  

The room was all dark, save for a burning fireplace;

Tinsel was hung next to thin curtains of lace.

Beside this a blonde teenager sat alone, resting in peace

Wishing this year that his sorrow would finally cease. 

'Yuna, this night', he thought, 'is still so far away,' 

As he drank some eggnog and ate a fruit parfait. 

He landed in a new world after being thrown in a whirl, 

And there fell deeply in love with the beautiful girl. 

He helped save the lives of many from death and Sin, 

But in this Spira, Tidus could not reside within.

Their miserable parting was hardly a proper goodbye,

He jumped off the airship's deck and hoped he could fly.

Tidus fell endlessly, into the weightless clouds

And fell back home with a 'THUMP' that was quite loud.  

"I told her I'd show her Zanarkand," Tidus heaved with a great sigh,

"But I can't, so now all those dear promises are just a huge lie."

"All year, I've waited for Christmas to see what it would bring,

And this year, I wish for only one thing."

What he wanted now was to spend Christmas with her,

And if given the chance, he'd be quick to concur.

Just as he lost all hope, Tidus heard a shocking sound,

It was the hooves of reindeer striking the ground. 

No, it wasn't reindeer, but a herd of Hypello!

(Are Hypello measured in herds? I, for one, would not know.)

But unlike flying reindeer, these blue creatures could not;

Hypello could not even run fast, they only walk. 

Two rows of them waddled forward, waving their arms in the air.

"Meeerry Chrishmash!" they yelled all too loud and clear. 

There must have been twenty, all with reins around their waists;

Dragging behind with them a large sleigh in all their haste.

Sitting in the sleigh was a familiar old man

With white and gray hair and whose skin was fairly tan.

A great red coat was draped across his shoulders quite broad.

Tidus knew him at once, though he was dressed rather odd.

"Auron! Why, it is you! Why on earth are you here?

Aren't you celebrating Christmas with your family this year?"  

Auron laughed, "I'm dead. I have no folks, and I can't marry."

But on my sleigh, I've brought as many presents as I can carry."

"Do you want to come with me with these presents in my sleigh?

For I am going to Besaid to give these gifts away."

With a nod of his head, and a huge beam on his face, 

Tidus replied, "Oh, thank you Auron! Let's leave this place."

A trip to Spira, there was no way Tidus could abstain,

"Take me to Yuna! Let me see her once again.

I want to see Wakka, Lulu, and the great thief Rikku,

And I mustn't forget the blue Kimahri Ronso, too!" 

Tidus hopped into the sleigh beside the man in red,

And the hypello in rein waddled away towards Besaid.

~~~~~

'Twas the night before Christmas in the village of Besaid;

All the villagers were asleep soundlessly in bed.

On the ground of Yuna's cottage, eggnog was spilled

And with ashes of burnt wood the fireplace was filled.

The first holiday of the Eternal Calm was near;

This night Yuna and her guardians had spread the good cheer.

On the living room couch was Yuna, counting sheep,

(In other words, readers, she was falling fast asleep.)

A black mage sat napping in a large rocking chair,

Dreaming of casting deadly spells like Ultima and Flare. 

Wakka, probably drunk, lay sprawled gracelessly on the floor,

Speaking incoherently in his slumber, asking for more.

(More to drink that was, if you could not tell,

But that's not the only line in this poem not written that well.)

Rikku was positioned under the Christmas tree,

Doubtlessly counting which presents was soon hers to be. 

Kimahri was curled up in a big blue ball of fur,

Dozing by the fireplace where all the stockings were. 

That's when stomping feet broke the silence of the night;

Outside were twenty hypello, all running left and right.  

Within seconds, Kimahri's instincts had brought him to his feet,

And he snarled outside at them in a way not all too discreet.

This caused only to affright the hypello some more, 

Many ran past the window and through the cottage door. 

The hypello scrambled, and all hid in different places;

They all shook with terror and showed dread in their faces.

Yuna tried to calm them, told them there was nothing to fear,

When Rikku shouted, "Yunie, Tidus and Auron are here!"

At this, Yuna shook her head in disbelief; it could not be so!

She rushed to Rikku's side and looked out the window.

Indeed outside upon the snow, there the two men stood,

Carrying with them as many presents as they could. 

Tidus lost his balance trying to carry them all, however,

Yuna, in her excitement, unintentionally knocked him over.

The presents tumbled and flew out of his hands,

But Auron saved them all with technique quite grand;

He maneuvered to catch the presents in a way so deft,

Catching one with his right arm, and one with his left.

Yuna and her guardians all applauded at the display,

Rikku added, "The presents are saved, hurray!"

As the great legend uncharacteristically stumbled in, 

Wakka came over to lend a hand, with a grin,

"Merry Christmas, Auron. But why are you and Tidus here?"

Auron shrugged, "Why is everyone asking me that this year?

Be glad to see me. Offer me to join your Christmas feast.

If not that, don't I get a small 'Welcome' at least?"

Meanwhile, Tidus pulled himself off the concrete,

As the High Summoner helped him to his feet.

"It's nice to see you too, Yuna. So, how've you been?"

Yuna replied, "Great! I don't know where to begin!

So much has happened; I have so much to tell you,

There's been so many changes since Spira started anew."

He smiled and hugged her, then gave her a kiss,

Rikku bounded up, looking just the slightest bit jealous.

Playfully, she slapped him on the back, and decided to assert, 

"Tidus! Why don't you don't say hi to me? I'm hurt."

Tidus put her in a headlock, and wouldn't let go,

"Oh really, so what are you gonna do about it, Joe?"

Struggling to get free, she unsuccessfully tried to duck below,

She muttered, "My name's not Joe. It's Rikku, you know!"

Everyone laughed, and found in the living room a seat,

"Open the presents we brought, "Auron began to entreat, 

"We struggled to bring them all here for you tonight,

Horrid weather and shortage of Hypello, despite."

At these words, Rikku wasted little time;

She pounced on a present and shouted, "Mine!"

Tearing off the wrapping, ribbons and paper flew,

Seconds later, the thief suddenly went out of view.

Lulu asked worried, "Where'd she go? Did she disappear?

Auron, what trick is this, making her vanish into thin air?"

But Auron looked unconcerned, if not a little surprised,

"I have no idea, Lulu, and that's the truth," he replied.

Then somehow the biggest gift box began to shake, 

Wakka exclaimed, "Auron, what's going on, for Yevon's sake!?"

"I just told you all that I don't know," Auron sighed,

"Why do you all always assume that I had lied?"

Rikku's head popped out of the box, looking disappointed,

She pulled out a stick that, at one end, was quite pointed.

Auron chuckled lightly and said, "It would appear,

That you have found Kimahri's present, a Ronso's spear."

"Awh. Sorry, Kimahri," Rikku apologized with a pout,

"I'll look in another box," she sighed as she hopped out.

Yuna opened her present, and she let out a small laugh,

She was delighted and quite pleased with her new staff.

Lulu found that she had received an enchanted doll,

And as for Wakka, he got a brand new Blitzball.

Finally it was Rikku's turn, so Tidus gave her the last gift,

Rikku was glad to take it, even if she had to be fifth.

Rikku tore the wrapping off and lo and behold,

It was a new claw made of 11-karat gold. 

She exclaimed, "Oh my gosh! Oh my Yevon!" 

"It's a claw made of gold, karat 11!"  

(Yes, Al Bhed don't believe in Yevon, I know,

But you try to rhyme for a three pages and a half, Joe.)

Auron beamed; glad to see everyone content, 

But as with every story, there must be a descent.

His smile turned grave, as he prepared to announce,

"I had a great time tonight; I enjoyed every ounce.

But now I must go, I can't stay forever,

To belong in the land of the living, I can never."

"Sir Auron, must you leave so soon?" Yuna asked sadly.

"You've just come; if you leave, we'll miss you quite badly."

The guardian turned away without a reply,

Called to the Hypello, then looked up to the sky, 

"Goodbye, Tidus; I hope you like it here.

I'll come back to see you again next year.

Merry Christmas, Yuna. Now I shall leave in my sleigh." 

The Hypello reined up and they dragged him away.

But after the man in red and the hypello were far out of sight, 

The guardian's voice called:                        

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Fin ~~  

~~~~~

Hehe, it's a bit off Christmas season, I know, but it was fun writing it anyway. Hoped you enjoyed it. 

Reviews are most welcome! ^^


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